you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
