Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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