So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
