wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize