Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize