I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
