I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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