so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
