I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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