If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
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Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
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I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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