You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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