I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
