So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
