I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Vodka?
Forever.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
