DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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