Is it normal to miss your booty call?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize