Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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