no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
