I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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