You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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