Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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