I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
