After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize