I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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