Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
