fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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