We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
