He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
