____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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