i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i need some magic done to my vagina
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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