from now on my penis is your penis
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
