I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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