I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
