we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
