I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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