I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just google imaged poop.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize