I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
