Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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