we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
