Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
