i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
