try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
