I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
