Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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