i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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