i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
