Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
