Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
