So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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