He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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