I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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