Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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