remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
