Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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