I will die if light touches me.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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