im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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