I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
